today i am 32 weeks. i feel like i am getting to the homestretch and (rib pain aside) am feeling pretty great. i am still looking very forward to and excited about giving birth. one side effect of pregnancy that no one told me about is everyone around you (especially strangers) simultaneously contracting severe cases of spontaneous verbal diarrhea. all anyone wants to tell me, it seems, is horror stories about the last months of pregnancy and birth. let me spell it out for you plain and simple: I DON’T WANT TO HEAR IT.
i don’t want to hear about the fact that you labored for 87,000 hours and ended up having a cesarian.
i don’t want to hear about how you went into labor wanting a drug-free birth and ended up in the OR.
i don’t want to hear about how many unexpected complications your baby had at birth.
i don’t want to be called crazy for using a midwife instead of an OB.
i especially (and ms. la roo experienced this as well) don’t want you to tell me, “you don’t need to be a martyr” when i convey to you my desire for a drug-free birth.
i don’t want you to look at me like i’ve sprouted horns and a tail when i tell you i plan on cloth diapering and breast feeding our baby. i want to do those things because i, as the child’s MOTHER, think that is what is best for her and for us.
to summarize, i don’t want to be made to feel bad about the choices travis and i have made for our daughter and ourselves.
FOCUS ON THE POSITIVE. instead of telling me about your horrendous back labor, tell me about the first time you looked into your baby’s eyes. tell me about the first time you successfully nursed instead how painful it was before you got to that point. tell me about your hopes and dreams for your child instead of your regrets about their birth.
feel free to smile at me, touch my belly, and ask me when i’m due. ask me if i’m having a boy or girl. ask me her name. i’ll gladly tell you and share the story behind it. ask me how i’m feeling. chances are i’ve already answered that question a trillion times today, but i don’t mind. ask me about why i’m making these choices for our family and i’ll happily talk to you for hours about cloth diaper brands, saving money, and making homemade baby food. START A DIALOGUE. quell your first reaction to tell a pregnant woman she’s crazy. it’s not good manners.