today at work i had three very different interactions with three different customers. two of these left a bad taste in my mouth. the third, however, made up for the other bozos.
customer: i’m looking for a book, but i can’t remember the author.
me: that’s alright. we can easily look it up by title or keyword.
customer: okay. the title is (insert some title, which i don’t remember here). the author’s last name is something like schreiber, goldberg or something equally jew-y.
me: oh. okay.
seriously, lady? i have a star of david hanging off of my necklace. know your audience before you open your dumb mouth.
me: is there something i can help you with today, sir?
customer: yeah. what’s the meaning of life?
me: i can’t help you with that, but i can help you find a book if there’s a specific one you’re looking for.
customer: okay. let me think of something challenging.
me: do you need to find an actual book? with all due respect, sir, i’m pregnant and my feet hurt and i’d rather not go on a wild goose chase around the store unless you actually need my assistance.
customer: did you say you’re pregnant?
customer: is that a good thing or a bad thing?
me: a good thing.
okay. first off, there are people waiting behind you who actually need my help. second, if i was at a stage in my life where this pregnancy was less than ideal, do you think i would talk to some stranger about it? probably not. third, billy ray cyrus circa 1988 called. he wants his mullet and sleeveless t-shirt back.
and now for the silver lining. the last customer approached me as i waving to and playing peek-a-boo with a little boy.
customer: i know that look. my wife got that look for the first time 32 years ago. you want one of those, don’t you? (he motions to the little boy.)
me: yes. actually, i’ll have one of those come august.
customer: that’s great! may your baby be a happy baby.
me: thank you, sir.
we then proceeded to chat about all sorts of things (in english and german) for 20 minutes or so.
do you have any bizarre work-related stories? if so, i’d love to hear them! i know i’m not alone in this.